Top 5 reasons NOT to date a werewolf:
Raw meat – I am a sushi lover, don’t get me wrong. I could eat it multiple times a week and be happy. But you know that day-old hamburger meat in the discount bin of the grocery store? The stuff that’s a day or two past the "sell by" date and smells a little funny? You’re like, "Um, Pass." But he tells you, "Nah, baby. It’s cool. Probably the refrigeration temp is just down and once we get it into your fridge, it’ll be fine." *deep inhale* "Mmm. Smells yummy." *GAG*
Shedding. Constant cleaning my second least favorite household chore. But hey, at least I don’t have to cook anymore. You vacuum. Then, an hour later, hair on your favorite black sweater. Again.
Howling. You think it’s a romantic moonlit ride to the overlook. You park the car, turn on some mood music and then--- "Owwwwwwwwww!" Boyfriend tips his head back and and lets loose the loudest howl you’ve ever heard. Oh, but it’s cool. It means he realllly likes you. #matingcall
Sloppy kisser. "Baby, you’re so beautiful in this full moonlight," he says. *cue romantic moment* He leans in. You lean in. Lips pucker. His tongue comes out and licks the entire length of your face. Um, WHAT?
Maybe I’m better off with a vampire. #TeamEdward
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